take me away. ♥

I think that last blog of mine was last year. I'm way much better now I must say. Still a little miserable but okay. We all get a liitle bit miserable once in a while right?

I graduated last month.. CONGRATULATIONS to me! =) It's such an achievement, especially after 5 long years. Its finally paid off actually...

I have work now. I've been working for the past 3 months. And unlike some "working" people I know, I enjoy what I do. I'm the events officer for ETC. I've been handling the channel's events and monthly movie premieres. So when it comes to my career.. it does seem like I'm on the right path. The road has to split somewhere.. but at the moment, it's not something I'm looking forward to.

What else have happened to me... hmmm... I'm in a relationship right now. Quite complicated but working on it. We've been together for a couple of months and the past months have been really good. Its not called the "honeymoon stage" for nothing. But yeah, it comes to the point when the relationship gets a little rough 'round the edges. Its not exactly perfect, but I'm hanging on.

I miss blogging. Just ranting on stuff happening in my life.. I'll do my very best to make this work again. It just that my job's taking up most of my time. BUT.. I'm not complaining. *wink*

So there, just a little update. =)

Its holy week and its perfect time to reflect and of course doze off a bit.. which I'm going to do right about now...

We all try to make a world of our own. It could be just temporary, depending on what we'd like to believe. When we make a decision.. we lay out the expected result of making such decision.. and do it as if everything lies in our hands. We do things and we take risks believing it'll end up the way we want it to (which by the way defeats the purpose of taking a "risk") Thus, we think we've created a world we have control of. We do things our way. And against all odds, we live in that world.... that is, until it breaks, and we snap back to this much much bigger world.. and soon, reality bites us in the ass.

I don't even know if I made any sense. It's just that sometimes we do things that we know may hurt us in the end yet we take that big leap of faith to prove the world wrong. Because in the "world" we've created for ourselves, what we've laid out is possible. We walk blindly, we cover our ears, we refuse to absorb any negativity because we believe our world exists. Soon enough, we'll come to realize that what surrounds us matters. How we live our world affects the people around us as well as our relationships, those that actually belong to the "real world". We can't just live selfishly. Sooner or later, the world we've created no longer exists. What hurts is when it happens at the most unexpected time.

I'm going in circles here. It's just that I made my own world in the past months. Now it's gone. A world no one knew about. (Don't ask.) I didn't even think it was another world until I lost it. I've finally come to realize that it was bound to end. I cant believe it took me a long time to have that epiphany. I got so caught up living it that I took for granted my life in the real one.

One thing holds true for me now....
We can never have the best of both worlds.
Because there is just one.

The one we do not create.

I know I haven't blogged for quite sometime. I will soon. Anyway, this is a favor for a very close friend... I just need to post this. She's been bad. We're hoping that this might reach him.....

She writes:

Tonight I try to keep my eyes shut
But tears just keep on flowing.
I'm like a river with no sea,
Clueless of where I'm going.

I fear what tomorrow brings
Will I still see the light of day?
I'm drowning in this misery
Do you ever wonder if I'm okay?

How does everything end
Faster than a blink of an eye?
I didn't even get the chance
To hold you, touch you, ask why

Please help me comprehend
Why I walk alone this one way road
This should've been me and you
But now you treat me so cold

Give me just a little of your time
To get you back, I won't dare try
My heart just needs reasons
To have the strength to say goodbye.

I hope you find time to talk to her.

For the first time, I cooked dinner myself. Just me. My mom went out of town for the weekend and instead of heating all those ready-to-eat-microwaveable-food, I decided to cook. :D I usually do some frying or some microwave-ing.. but never cook, cook. LOL. I wanted to surprise my family, consequently seem a little more productive than they think I am. And I ended up, cooking.

I made Beef with Chinese Broccoli and Chicken Satay. I looked up recipes in a Thai Cookbook. The beef w/ broccoli dish tasted great accdg. to my dad (believe me he wouldn't say such thing just to make me feel better, he'd go as far as opening a can of pork and beans if my dish sucked).. however, he said it wasn't really appealing to the eyes. I guess I put too much cornstarch that the sauce thickened. Not bad for a first dish. The chicken satay was for my brother since he liked food that had curry on them. He said it was perfect. He said he wouldn't have had it any other way.... and that, my friends, marks the beginning of my new hobby - COOKING. I'm inspired by those words.. and surprisingly, I enjoyed preparing ingredients, cooking, and having people appreciate it. Awesome.

...the best way to a man's heart eh?

We'll see. ♥

Today, I went on a road trip with a few friends.. It was a spontaneous thing on the first day of our summer classes. I was with jay, elaine and peter. :) We went all the way to Tagaytay.. about 60km away from school. I needed that break from all the stress. Plus it was cooler there. I haven't felt the wind for a few months now. Since tagaytay is on a higher ground.. we could feel the cool breeze. We ate at Viewsite resto.. our bill reached almost P 1,400! (Food: Sinigang na tilapia sa Sampaloc, Pork Sisig, Inihaw na Liempo, Green Mango Ensalada, Grilled Eggplant Ensalada, and about 8 cups of rice! note: there were only four of us. LOL.) We were definitely full... and I slept all throughout the trip home. I slept soundly despite jay's loud house music in his car. :P A few hours in a different environment made me unwind. This was a real good day. ♥

Our professor dismissed us an hour early so we had the time to leave the city and be back before dark. It was a simple thing but it felt like an adventure for me...

I really enjoyed today. God is good.

(I'll post pictures when I find a means to do so.)

I've had better days, but compared to the previous week.. I'm now in a better state.

Summer classes start tomorrow. I should be enjoying my summer vacation but I just thought I could be a little more productive. I need to take at least 3 units to lessen my load for next term. So, I have to sit through 2 hours of discussions on Contemporary National Development (CONADEV) from mondays to saturdays for the entire summer break. Typing the name of the subject bored me already. I'm definitely not into those sort of things. Besides, if I was, I wouldn't be here blogging.. I'd have much much better socio-civic stuff to do. So tonight marks the end of my summer.. *sigh*  actually, I don't even remember it starting...

I know I've been in a rut lately.. but on the bright side of things.. (there's a always a bright side, right?) I've been out shopping for clothes to wear during the summer.. a couple of shorts and a few tops. Nothing big.. just got those stuff from bazaars aka tiangge. Since the heat in this country is so intolerable, I'm trying to adjust somehow. I don't usually show a lot of skin.. but this time, its not even a choice anymore.. there's a need to. Suddenly wearing shorts and skirts is the new fad. I'm giving this heat another month. If it goes on like this, I'd probably cut my hair really short.

I have to go to sleep now. School is waiting for me. Farewell summer.

someone just take me away........

I don't know how much more of this I can take.

And so I failed. Not that I'm proud of it.. but it's the freakin' reality. Thanks to those who sent me good vibes and wished me luck. I really appreciate it. Anyway, I needed THREE POINTS to pass. My professor didn't want to give me any chance. Sheesh.

I'm going back to school tomorrow to ask beg for reconsideration.

Lord, please give him the heart.. I'm human, I make mistakes..

I hate business law. Actually, I hate the law.

Err.. I hate grades.

Well, things have been seemingly dramatic these past few days. There has been a lot of mixed emotions coming from different people and it has been affecting me. So far, I've settled things.. well, a conversation can do a lot. I was able to talk to my best friend last night.. whom I haven't talked to for the longest time. We did a little catching up, and a lot of serious talk. I missed those times. We've had our fair share of problems and issues for the past couple of months. Some we've survived, some unresolved. I was also able to talk to someone I've recently hurt, not intentionally. Things are (I think) settled and now we're good. I think I'm at peace.. no, I'm getting there..

So today is one of those "okay" days. I'm just anxious about tomorrow. They'll be releasing our grades. My law class is in danger.. grave danger. More like, I am in grave danger if I flunk.

I'm down on my knees begging that I pass. Please.