my world

We all try to make a world of our own. It could be just temporary, depending on what we'd like to believe. When we make a decision.. we lay out the expected result of making such decision.. and do it as if everything lies in our hands. We do things and we take risks believing it'll end up the way we want it to (which by the way defeats the purpose of taking a "risk") Thus, we think we've created a world we have control of. We do things our way. And against all odds, we live in that world.... that is, until it breaks, and we snap back to this much much bigger world.. and soon, reality bites us in the ass.

I don't even know if I made any sense. It's just that sometimes we do things that we know may hurt us in the end yet we take that big leap of faith to prove the world wrong. Because in the "world" we've created for ourselves, what we've laid out is possible. We walk blindly, we cover our ears, we refuse to absorb any negativity because we believe our world exists. Soon enough, we'll come to realize that what surrounds us matters. How we live our world affects the people around us as well as our relationships, those that actually belong to the "real world". We can't just live selfishly. Sooner or later, the world we've created no longer exists. What hurts is when it happens at the most unexpected time.

I'm going in circles here. It's just that I made my own world in the past months. Now it's gone. A world no one knew about. (Don't ask.) I didn't even think it was another world until I lost it. I've finally come to realize that it was bound to end. I cant believe it took me a long time to have that epiphany. I got so caught up living it that I took for granted my life in the real one.

One thing holds true for me now....
We can never have the best of both worlds.
Because there is just one.

The one we do not create.