5 posts tagged “dad”
So that was my late post for last saturday. :) Elaine and I swore we'd watch next year's pyrolympics.. hopefully with respective dates. ♥ hehehe...
For today, I'm relieved. I think the "thinking nights" I've been having are soon to be lessened. I hate it when I already have my eyes closed during the wee hours of the night, but my head is still working overtime. I get all emo then I'll spend a good 2 or even 3 hours staring at my ceiling with not-so-random thoughts. So why am I relieved? There's just no more running away. Got a little so-called peace of mind today. :) Got rid of some bitterness. That's just as far as I can say for now.
My dad however is still being cold. I dont get it. Tsss.
Something's wrong with my computer. Everything takes too long to load. I think I have to have this reformatted. I've been meaning to post pictures of the Pyrolympics I went to last night but images just wont upload. Err, anyway, the fireworks were beyond spectacular. :) I have a hangover up until now. I love it. ♥ I want fireworks on my wedding. hahaha. Ok, too cheesy. :P So I cant even post comments on other vox's.. I'm lucky to even have this entry posted after I click on "save".. sheesh. *cross fingers*
My impatience is getting the best of me, it's a good thing the fireworks were bliss. For the entire weekend, my dad has been giving us (my mom, bro and me) the cold treatment.. which we all think is unreasonable. And ineffective. Tss.
I'm goin to try to blog again tomorrow. Hopefully post the pictures as well.
Sometimes reality has a way of sneaking up and biting us in the ass. And when the dam bursts, all you can do is swim. The world of pretend is a cage, not a cocoon. We can only lie to ourselves for so long. We are tired, we are scared, denying it doesn't change the truth. Sooner or later we have to put aside our denial and face the world. Head on, guns blazing. De Nile. It's not just a river in Egypt, it's a freakin ocean. So how do you keep from drowning from it? -Meredith Grey
Ouch.
What's something you did when you were younger that you still haven't confessed to your parents?
Submitted by Bizz.
Having had a boyfriend / having been in a relationship.
My parents are THAT strict and perhaps conservative. It's just that relationships aren't really allowed in my home. Its sad, really. I've been in a couple of relationships, some superficial and some substantial. Regardless of its nature, I have learned so much especially with regards to dealing with people and with life in general. My dad's paranoia just goes overboard.. He'd simply say.. "it's not you I dont trust, its other people." Dont you just hate that? Up until now, I am controlled by him. He stayed in China for 16 years, and during that time I know for a fact that I was bubblier and I think I was better. I was happier. I had downs too but the downs made me feel alive, if you know what I mean. Forgive me for crying out loud but I'm already 21... and each step I take is still accounted for. I've always struggled getting into a relationship. Guys actually get freaked out with my dad. I can't blame them though. There is just sooo much to say but I think I'd rather keep it to myself, at least for now. So for as long as I'm in my home, I think I'm staying single.
Please dont get me wrong I love my parents. :) A lot more than I express it. Its just that sometimes, I feel like I'm missing out so much on life that it kills me. Quite literally.
But I'm alive, right? :) I'm good.. I just know I could be better. ♥
Thing is, apparently, my mom used to have her as a boss in her old job a couple of years ago. They were unbelieveably close. My mom's the quiet sit-in-one-corner type, and my prof is/was this egotistic loud-mouth boss. The only thing they had in common was their native origins.. they're both kapampangan. I guess the world is indeed awfully small. I wish they had got together before all this happened. A sense of bias may have helped in saving us a few thousands for next term's tuition. My mom attests that my prof was quite obnoxious and she does have high standards in terms of her work. I must say teaching just isn't meant for her. You have to have a heart ♥ . =/ She teaches sitting down while reading her handy-dandy book then she goes on bashing everyone's incapacity to understand a word she says. You'll hate her for it, believe me. You'll feel stupid to say the least. She'd mention a common-sense statement and ask "naiintindihan nyo ba yun?" (Do you understand that?). *sigh* I can go on whining about how she managed to be despicable, but it won't change my grade. Understand that this is just me trying to redeem myself by trying to justify the zero in my transcript. Soon after this, I'll get over it.
Hope one day you'll tell me - 5 lang kami nakapass sa class. This is music to my ears. You must believe if others can, you can. I still believe in your ability. You only need to work harder.
I ♥ my dad.
If I were to choose what superhero power I'd want to have.. I want to be invisible.
Oh wait.. I AM INVISIBLE. =/
No, I haven't gone crazy. It's just that I saw this guy in
school yesterday (the one i've been talking about). As I said in my
past post, I'm sort of confused on how I should be around him. I say
one thing, but I feel another. Anyway, before I left, he talked to my
friend for awhile.. I stood by just so I could say "bye" and "merry
christmas".. but he completely ignored me. I looked him in the eye..
yet, he didnt look at me at all.. not even a glance. So am I invisible
now? I was just infront of him. I just dont get why he did that. I know
I'm trying to get over this whole thing, but I really wanted to give
him a hug yesterday. I wanted peace of mind this Christmas..
I guess he has his. I was trying to control my tears. I pretty much did
until I got back inside school. I wish things wouldn't end this way...
no wait, I wish things just didn't have to end. period.
The icing-on-top-of-my-cake yesterday was that I failed my taxation class. I've been ranting about how I hated being in that class and this is what I get. Ugh, I hate it all the more. I have to repeat that 3-unit income and business taxation class. I feel bad wasting my parent's money. I could've passed if I had a better professor.. a kind-hearted one. I did learn a lot but she seriously enjoys it when none of us gets the right answers in her quizzes. Only 5 people passed in my class, we were i think around 23 students. :( I've accepted the 0.0 in my card, there was nothing I could have done anyway. I'm taking it again next term with a different professor. It's sweeter the second time around, right? Sheesh.
I met Kenna yesterday. She gave me a CD. I felt guilty having nothing in exchange. I owe her. When I listened to the Santa Baby CD on my way home.. it sort of got me away from all the pressures of the day. It was jazzy and Christmas-y. ♥ When we were texting about how I failed my subject, she said "I really dont know what to say"... but really, the CD was more than enough. :) Thanks Kenna, and CONGRATS!
My dad is going to kill me soon. He got home yesterday with a gift for
me, I thanked him then went inside my room. I just felt even more guilty having failed. I locked up so he wouldn't
have to see my grades (that's the reason why I wasnt able to blog
yesterday). If my dad had a pet peeve, it would be failure.
Seriously. So when I woke up this morning, my mom told me that my dad
already knows. Okay... so there, consider me dead.
