14 posts tagged “friends”

For a few weeks now, I haven't had much to say here. School has been keeping me. I get home tired and almost  ready to doze off. But right now, I just feel like I have to... I missed my blog. :(

We pulled off the Mixxology party last weekend. A lot of people came that I actually saw the bouncers do their jobs. They blocked people at the entrance. I didnt want to see them use their toned muscles or what they call their "guns" on my batchmates so we had to settle things immediately. It was fun but stressful.. things had to be done and a lot of people to please. But yes, we pulled it off. :) Its over, finally.

Since this weekend, I've been happy for the wrong reasons. Or maybe I just think it's wrong. There are a lot of things I miss. I missed *****. And keeping it away is one of the hardest things to do (but I know I have to).. just having it back makes me feel all giddy.. regardless if that's how I'm supposed to feel. I find myself smiling at random moments. Strange. I like it when I smile though.. these are some of the few times I actually smile, not just for the sake of putting up a happy front. *sigh* But some people have better judgement when it comes to these matters.. and it seems they don't like it's effect on me. Tsk.

Speaking of other people's judgement.. lately, I've been close with a new found friend. He's a good conversationalist. In fact, I've never ever met any guy as insightful as him. I may not be of agreement to everything he says.. but I learn a lot from his opinions and philosphies. It's not everyday that you get to hear the soft spot of men. I've found myself a new "buddy". Believe me, this is purely platonic. The thing however is that when he get's too insightful, it scares me. He seems to have a keen sense of reading people. Somehow I feel like he knows me all too well though he barely knows me. He has just heard a few of my issues and my stories.. much much less than the stuff I've written here in my blog. I didn't know anyone could possibly be capable of that. No one wants to be read. Now Im starting to think that maybe I just let myself out there.. a little too available for people to read, I guess. But thats not how its supposed to be! Is it me? Or does he have some sort of "gift"? WYSIWYG is not my thing. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy talking to him. I'm just a bit worried on how I come across to people.

I need some reformatting or something. Oh God help me.

Eversince this year started, I've been dreading Valentines Day. The absence of anyone special to share it with while others take joy in spending the night with dates, gifts, and sweets has been the thought that has lingered in my head all this time. I entered the school campus and with every few steps I took I'd bump onto someone with a bouquet of flowers. Every so often, I'd see guys trying to find the girls they'd give their flowers to, and girls stamped with cheesy smiles while they hold on to roses and tulips. And once in a while, I'd also see girls rolling their eyes as they see those mushy people... and I soon find myself being one of them.

Bitter as it may seem, its not for me to celebrate. My friends would say today is actually Singles Awareness Day. But for me, it had been each passing day since God knows when. I have nothing to be aware of. I am pretty much reminded of my "singleness" as often as men think about sex. Haha, I just don't need this day. I know I will.. just not today.

I know I sound all pessimistic, but surprisingly, my day went well except for the parts where I was amidst all the cheesiness, and when I took a quiz in my law class. Nonetheless, I did good stuff today. And there were friends who gave me some lovin'. So today is like any ordinary day with a little love and surprises.

Looking on the bright side:

• I did a huge favor for a friend today. He badly needed his external hard drive which he left at home, it was for his project due today, so I drove up to his place to pick it up and bring it to school. He was truly grateful and it made me feel really good despite ofcourse the pressures of the day. He even texted me saying that it has been a happy day for him.. and added "thanks to you" :)
• When I got to school, the first person I saw was the guy I've been ranting about for the past few months. The irony of having him there on this very day. Sheesh. But, he gave me an unexpected hug... and a few more. We haven't had any physical contact since December. So I was surprised but happy. I used to go all dramatic and confused when things went that way, but today was way more than okay. I've got rid of the bitterness, but of course little crumbs got left behind. Hah. Well, it didnt bother me anymore. I didnt care if he was going to spend the night with another girl, I seriously thought I would. Moved on, I guess. :) Yay for me!
  
• 

  cupcake from Inaboo

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  Ina, a good friend of mine, got me and elaine cupcakes for Valentines! :) It was a sweet gesture. We just became closer these past few months and she's been very thoughtful since. She's the type of friend you ought to keep til you grow old. :) Love ya ins!
• When I got home, my dad got me a gift! Weeee! :) He got me 2 tops from Folded and Hung, a local brand. I love the shirts! He got me a black collared shirt with pink and green stripes and a V-neck pink shirt. :) Its the first time he actually gave me a gift for the hearts day. There is indeed a first time for everything. :P Needless to say, I love my dad.♥
  
• Can I just add, that yesterday, I learned how to breakdance a bit. haha! ..the "uprock" and "babyfreeze" moves. It's pretty cool.. :) Some dancers came to our school to give lessons on basic breakdancing.. I watched them and I have to admit, it got me practicing afterwards.. :P

Though having no special person today is such a bummer, I'm proud to say I got out of it alive. I'm a survivor. No breakdowns, no tears, no nothing. Just me, friends, family and of course God. ♥ For now, they just keep me alive. I still wish that someone would come along.. hopefully, next year would be different...

But for tonight.. sad to say, I have to prepare my presentation for tomorrow.  While others are out on their respective dates, I am here doing school work.

Loser.

But loved. ♥

I have a huge thing about recitations. I easily get intimidated and I have this tendecy of experiencing mental block. Today my law professor called me to recite in his class. He's the type who gives about 10 questions per student. He kept asking me questions I didnt know about. I answered some, but, as usual, people notice the wrongs instead of the stuff you get right. Tsss. So I practically flunked. I felt emebrassed just talking about bull infront of the class. Then I realized the stuff he asked me wasn't part of the handouts I read/reviewed. My photocopied copy of our text book was lacking ONE page... and it just had to be THAT freakin' page that had all the answers to his questions! Great day. =/

It's a good thing my morning was good. I had a dvd marathon with a good friend of mine.. (before my prof made my day). I went to his place and we just hung out for a few hours. His grandma makes the BEST food for the gods! hahaha.. I dont even like walnuts, but it was just THAT good. I ♥ it!

I have a conference to attend tomorrow morning... starts 8am... *yaaawn* time to rest...

Today has been one heck of a day. I was happy, I almost cried, I got anxious, scared, freaked out and excited.. all in one day.

• I met up with my guy bestfriend who by the way I
  

  remember

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  haven't seen for a few months already. Feels good to catch up a little. The hug and the jokes were the best parts of it. :)
• Besh (my guy bestfriend) gave me a late Christmas gift. It was a perfume from Bench (photo on the right). Love it! ♥ I feel bad that I wasn't able to get him any. I just treated him out for lunch. I think I'll get him something good on his birthday.. that's a couple of weeks from now. mental note: save save save!
  
• The guy was in school today and we didn't even see each other. He was with our friends and I was with my bestfriend. I could've dropped by where they were... but I didn't. Err. And I miss him sooooo much. :( I badly wanted to be with him.. but something tells me I shouldn't. I have my reasons (as if him already having a girlfriend isn't enough). I was so perplexed. Darn confused. Worse thing is, this is just all me. :(  - Question: Does the end really justify the means?
  
• My professor (who I have a little crush on. haha) just called out a graded recitation for "Laws on Partnership and Corporations". I wasnt able to read on it. It's not like I have this burning interest to learn about the Law. So next thing I know, he was picking index cards with our names on them randomly. As he called name by name by name.. my heart just kept beating faster. I kind of get anxiety attacks (not so serious ones) when I'm intimidated. I'm weird like that. Luckily, I was "saved by the bell" - such a relief.
  
• As I was driving home, there was an unusual heavy traffic a few blocks away from my house. 5 minutes passed, then 10.. then 15.. drivers of cars and trucks behind me started running out of patience. Then I saw 2 guys running while pushing an empty "stretcher" to the direction of the traffic. A few minutes after, they were running back with an old unconscious bloody guy on the stretcher. I was about 3-5 meters away from the guy. I saw his face and his wounds.. its giving me the creeps until now. Out of curiosity, I asked the bystander outside my car.. he said the guy had a bike accident. The car that bumped him just left. Its really sad. And scary. I hope and pray that he lives.
• I got home still dazed by what I witnessed. Then I suddenly got a call on my cel from Eden, she just had to tell me that I wont tickets for the World Pyro Olympics! She saw my name on this site. Yay! I posted about it yesterday and I think that was what made me win! :) I'd love to watch world-class fireworks! That'd be amazing. :) I'm still thinking of who I should tag along. A guy would be out of the question. Elaine maybe.. I'll ask her tomorrow.

Forgive the shifts of mood. Hah, I was pretty much like that the entire day. I'm signing off, I have to put my head, heart and body to rest. *yawn* There's still a blue sky waiting tomorrow...

I'm getting really bored this Christmas break. After the 25th, I'm just stuck here at home. If not, I'm out running errands. =/ So not fun. It's a good thing Mica and Elaine dropped by last night. We did some videoke and had Mcdonalds deliver us fatty goodies. We sang boyband songs, 80s/90s songs and some emo songs (dedicated to certain people). :P It was fun! But they had somewhere else to go later that night so it ended sooner than I thought. Nonetheless, it was a big break from boredom. :) I thought I'd be lonesome this break.. after missing out on all the inumans. Thanks guys!

Today, I just went out shopping with my mom. As her fashion consultant, she stayed in the fitting room and I brought her all the clothes. Haha! She tried on around 20 tops and nothing seemed to fit! She blamed the clothes for not fitting her, when she knew its was her that wouldn't fit in the clothes. We tend to do that. Hehe.. :P Eventually she got herself a blazer and a long sleeved blouse from Dorothy Parkins. Yay! :) We met up with my dad and had dinner. I was really really full. Since the mall was about to close, I was only able to get myself a lip shimmer. :P Hehe, good enough. There, and now, I'm back home.. infront of the PC.. surfing the net.. and ofcourse, blogging. I dont think I'm even making much sense in this post, but I just find the need to write type and do something. :P

For the past few days, I've been just trying to finish all 10 seasons of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. and up until now I'm still on the 3rd season. I never get sick of them, they just crack me up. :D (I ♥ Chandler!) I have to stop though, my eyes just get really strained from staring at the TV and the PC for the entire day. That's not healthy.Not to mention the incessant munching while I slouch on our comfy sofa. I think I've already made my mark on our couch, specially now that I've put on a few pounds. Hah! :) And, I sleep around 3am and wake up at around 11am. :P I have to fix my napping time! This ain't healthy either. What happens when school starts? Sheesh.

Tomorrow night I'm having dinner with my highschool friends. :) Woohoo! I get excited over these sort of things.. I dont go out much, so when I do, I'm just all giddy. :) We're all in different colleges now, and we do this "reunion" at least twice a year. We do some catching up and I tell you, my friends never cease to surprise me. There's always something new. I kinda feel weird being the same old slob that I am. Booooring. :P I know they love me anyway. Hahaha! :) That's what friends are for ♥ teehee..

Once again, I've changed my Vox's design. Haha! Hella bored. :P

Peace out.

Today's an awesome day. It's Jesus' birthday, why shouldn't it be, right?  I had some peace... I freed my mind from all the burdensome thoughts I've been having. I had a calm and happy heart. ♥ Something I haven't had for the longest time.

Last night, my bestfriend called me on my cell around 1am. We haven't talked/seen each other for a couple of months now. I miss that guy. When I'm with him, everything's just less serious and less complicated. Though at times I get irritated with his stubborn and wacky antics, but he still never fails to make me smile. :) I guess that's just what I love about him. Its effortless. He gives me a natural high. I really had fun catching up and making up for all the lost time. :)

I got to chat with my Bishie earlier today too! She's been my highschool bestfriend. We used to be more like sisters. We wrote each other looong letters even if we were in the same class, not to mention, even seatmates! Since she moved to New York though, we sort of drifted away (communication-wise). College took away some of our time and we've met new friends. If there was a chance we're both online and not busy (rare), we'd IM each other to have our usual how-are-you's. :) Anyway, we did some catching up awhile ago.. :) I'm thankful. She's actually the one who got me into blogging, chatting.. all the internet stuff. Hahaha.. what a great influence :) I miss her! She was the closest one to me in highschool. I know a lot has changed. We have our differences.. but despite all that, I'm grateful we remain good, if not the best, friends.. in short, BISHIES. ♥ We'll stick by that. I'll be ninang when she has her kids.. Haha. Got that saved here! :) No escape! I'll be looking forward to it.

pepper under d tree

Look who I found underneath our Christmas tree this morning.. hahaha.. its Pepper! :) She probably thinks she's a gift. Hmm.. she's indeed a gift to me. For the past 5 months, she keeps me sane. uhhh, except the times when I find myself talking to her. Haha! She keeps me off the emo mode. :P I hope dogs dont have thoughts, she'd definitely find me weird. Hehe.. I heart pepper! She's a baby! A very spoiled one.

Family

Starbucks planner

I know I shouldn't be blogging about this.. but a while ago, my friend got in an argument with her "past" boyfriend. She still loves him and it appears that the guy wants out. This one's a pretty long story and I am not going to go into that since this isn't even my business. But the guy said "Leave me alone" I just want to say something about this.. as much as possible I dont want to take sides (since both are my friends) and hindi ako nagpaparinig (or at least that isnt my intention). However, I am going to use the situation to prove a point. To ask or actually tell someone to leave you alone is unjustifiable if that person has no intention of hurting/harming you. I could not believe that someone could ask such thing when the other person only wants to let the other person feel that she still cares. She had no bad intentions at all, and she was definitely far from stalking.. I believe she had wished nothing but the best for his well being.

No one would ever want to hurt someone. We lie, we omit words, we run away, we hide, we cry, we do all sort of things for the fear of hurting someone. Gusto natin tayo nalang. No one likes to hurt or reject anybody.. If ever people do, they make up all sort of excuses to ease the pain.. like the its-not-you-its-me sort of things. The least one can do is be sensitive enough to consider how others would feel with the things he/she says or does.His hurtful words were so uncalled for.

I know this isn't suppose to be my pain. But for the past few weeks, Its all that matters to me. I've dealt with my own problems and I'm living through them day by day. This certain friend of mine has kept me strong. I've seen her faith and how strong God has made her. But a few hurtful words from someone she loves deeply broke her down. That just meant it was too much for her to handle. She just put the pieces back up and with his words, she's again shattered. It angers me.. Though its not my place to feel such. I just dont believe she deserves such treatment. It was unlike him to say such thing.

Words are strong.. a lot stronger than we think. It can make us or break us. I hate to think that some people get insensitive just to lighten their own burden. You could be in a relationship... but you shouldn't push other people that love you away. You are what inspires them, what makes them go though each day... Nothing or no one is going to help him/her but him/herself. No one can dictate how he/she should feel. It is almost impossible to ask someone to NOT love. Why wouldn't you want that anyway? Isn't love the "greatest gift of all" (may it be from any one)?

Not wanting to be loved is depressing. What I think is.. he may not want it.. but I think right now it's what he NEEDS.

To my friend~ You should stay strong. You know you deserve better than this.. but love is love. When it hurts, its real. Have faith, that's all that matters. No one can love you like He does.. Just pray. Im here for you always, okay? Stand up everytime you fall.. Tuloy lang. I'll walk with you.

Earlier today, I went to visit my bestfriend at his place. I meant to surprise him but I had to be sure he was home so I texted him anyway. He said I could go to his house. When I was almost at his place, I stopped and made a U-turn... It was lunch and I thought of buying him some food. I stopped over at Jollibee then I head back to his place. When I got to his house, I tried calling him.. no answer. So I rang the doorbell and his maid came out saying he wasn't there. I felt bad that he didnt mention that he was somewhere else. A few minutes after I left, he called saying sorry... I felt bad but his apology was consolation enough. I miss that guy already. We havent talked or seen each other for quite some time now. There's always a next time anyway...

On one hand, I've been terribly missing someone for the past few weeks. Its the worst kind of "missing someone" I've felt so far. Describing the feeling is hard as it is. This time, I feel like I'm in some sort of battle... problem is, my opponent is myself. How do I win then?